Love Will Make A Way: Interracial & Same-Sex Marriage

My parents wrestled with the idea of me marrying my partner. The sanctuary was packed but my father didn’t come. Dad was brought up in the Deep South and my husband looked like the people who had practiced the nauseating hatred of Jim Crow in my father’s hometown.

News of the support of our union, and the tremendous standing ovation the congregation gave us, traveled back to my dad. The testimony of the ones he sent—my mom and my brothers—was that our love was beloved; this coupling, no matter our race, was a cause of rejoicing.

It was the beginning of my dad’s change of heart; God and God’s people blessed us.

He now thinks we are the best couple; the work we do together on racial reconciliation here in the United States and in South Africa is some of our most important work.

Our unusual pairing is for my dad a sign that we are all beloved of God, no matter who we love, no matter what we do.

As a woman in an interracial marriage and as a senior pastor of a church, I think it is essential that we stand up for the rights of all people to marry.

It is important to make our voices heard as the Supreme Court hears oral arguments this week on the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and California’s Proposition 8. The Supreme Court’s decisions, likely to be announced in June, will set the stage for the future of marriage equality in our country.

At this pivotal moment in history, straight allies and Christians need to write, march, and call for justice alongside our gay brothers and sisters.  

Before 1967, my marriage would have been illegal in most of the United States.

That was the year Chief Justice Earl Warren and the nine other Supreme Court justices ruled unanimously in a landmark case, Loving v. Virginia, that “marriage is one of the ‘basic civil rights of man,’ fundamental to our very existence and survival … Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State.”

My 76- and 79-year-old parents could not help but first experience our marriage through the skeptical eyes of their generation. Of course they questioned interracial love as they, in the very belly of their deeply brown bodies, remembered the bitter bile of Mississippi racism. Now, they love the way John and I love each other.

For my parents, our marriage legitimizes, sanctifies, and celebrates our love and the unique wonder of God’s good creation.

“You and John chase away the blues of racism, just by being you,” my parents say.  

Even though we were both divorced, even though in the eyes of some churches our love is not sanctioned, we had the right to marry in our church and in the eyes of the law. Through happy tears, John shared his poem in which the “angels tapped their wings to the beat of our love;” I sang to him “The Nearness of You.”

Even though our marriage would have been illegal in Alabama up until 2000, we are married, and we have all of the rights, the responsibilities, and the joys that come with this publicly acknowledged partnership. Every person deserves this right.  

Hatred and fear are often justified by things we project onto God.

The Church gets pulled into giving God bad publicity. Parts of the church read the Bible with a literalism that is not appropriate. A literal read of the Bible was used to justify slavery. A literal read of the Bible would silence me; I preach every week in my congregation. 

Not marrying part of God’s creation that happens to be Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender means we are not welcoming. Period.

In Jesus’ day, questions about scripture arose. Jesus’ preaching came down to these three edicts: love God, love neighbor, love self.

That is what matters. And that should keep us busy!  

I think it is wonderful that the Supreme Court’s decision to uphold marriage as one of the “vital personal rights” protected under the 14th Amendment happens in a case called Loving v. Virginia.  

Loving among two consenting adults that want to make a life-long commitment to one another must be recognized as a vital personal right, protected under the law, one that should be blessed and honored by the Church.  

It is our role as clergy and as Christians to preach about and work toward marriage equality for each child of God.

That’s why I, as a straight Black clergywoman, an ally, and an activist, am standing up for the equal rights of all of God’s children.

Won’t you join me? 

Come to the Interfaith Rally to Advocate for Marriage Equality on March 26 in New York City. if you’re not in NYC, click through to find a local event in your area.

Together, we can make marriage equality the law in our nation.

Photo courtesy of Rev. Dr. Jacqui Lewis; Originally posted at Huffington Post