The Power Of Grace In My Non-Traditional Family

This is my family: 2 gay moms and 3 straight kids. 2 Whites, 2 Blacks and 1 Puerto Rican. 3 siblings from 3 different birth families. 5 different souls.

This is not an effort to get people to change their minds about marriage, but rather, to give people a look into my heart and my non-traditional family.

My two moms saved my life. I was a baby born addicted to crack 3 months premature. My birth mother could not take care of me and was murdered a year later. My birth father is unknown.

These two women took me in despite knowing I would have learning disabilities and would take a long time to develop. They took me in knowing that it was unconventional to have an interracial family, let alone one with two moms.

They took my sister in at age 9 when her mom was struggling and my brother in at age 7 when his parents were having trouble. Since then, their families have become a great part of our lives and the Lord has done amazing works in restoring those relationships.

One of my moms has passed away and is with God. Some may be surprised that I am Christian who believes that my gay mom is in heaven, but it is true. She is.

I had a period where I was going to become an atheist because I thought my mom was in hell simply for being gay, but it’s not the case.

God revealed to me that my mom is safe with him, and I must share my testimony with the world.

Last year, I contemplated suicide because I didn’t want to live in a world with people who so strongly hate my family. I didn’t want to be with a God who condemns people like my mom to hell.

I yelled, I screamed I shouted! I said, “GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME? WHY DID YOU FORSAKE MY MOM? WHY? I CAN’T LOVE A GOD WHO HATES MY MOM. I CAN’T.”

The next morning I got an email from a religion classmate, Michelle, who noticed that I seemed out of it. She said, “I’m not sure what is wrong but I just want to let you know that you are loved and appreciated and I hope you are alright.” This helped but was not enough.

I decided to give Jesus and God one more shot.

I went to church. It was a church that does not support gay rights by doctrine, but I always enjoyed going because the people were so kind and the worship was great. In fact, I first accepted Christ there at age 19. The first song they played that morning was a song called “Christ the Lord is Risen Today!”

The worship leader announced that it was new for that church that day, but it was a song very familiar to me. It was my mom’s favorite song. I remember her singing it off key at church and I would look at her like she was nuts! Why was she so happy?!

Now I know. I literally could not contain myself.

The tears rolled down my cheeks as God not only saved me from my thoughts of self destruction but also let me know my mom was okay.

You may ask “why do you care about what people think?” I think it is natural to want to be loved and respected. I don’t want to feel as if my family is less valid in the eyes of humanity than a family with a mom and a dad. 

I am not asking for anyone to change their views with regards to gay marriage because I know that an individual’s conviction takes a lot of thought, prayer and guidance. What I am asking is that my family and others in the same situation are respected, loved and cared for as I hope every family is respected loved and cared for.

I have done a lot of prayer and consulting with God in regards to how I should continue with my journey as a Christian when many people don’t agree with my definition of family. Here is my conviction: 

My role as a human and a Christian is to spread God’s love and love my neighbor as myself free from judgement, to serve humbly, and to be strong so God can be glorified and humanity redeemed. I may be alone and I may not. But I now know that God is always with me.

I hope any gays who have felt ostracized by the church take some comfort in this testimony.

If you need to talk or need a friend, I am here for you. Please seek God and do not be discouraged! I know it is hard, but God loves you and wants to know you!

If you are a Christian who is like “What? I can’t support gay people!!” I am here for you too and would love to be your friend. I love you all. I really do.

I don’t know why God saved me that day. I don’t know why he saved my mom.

All I know is that my family’s story reveals the marvelous mystery of the power of grace.

Our story shows a mighty and compassionate God.

And I think there is something to this Jesus thing that we have yet to understand…

Photo via Latisha Di Venuto