A Mother’s Journey To Affirmation

My daughter Kyndra Danyelle Frazier revealed to me that she was lesbian about 12 years ago. On that day, I was hurt but deep down in my soul I always knew that she was struggling with her sexuality.

I always ignored it, simply too afraid to face the truth.

I prayed daily for God to deliver her from homosexuality. I cried often and I became very depressed. You see Kyndra was the “poster child” of her home church. She was an “A” student, actively involved in youth ministry, youth choir director, and the favor of God was always upon her life. She was raised in a Christian home and she was always involved in extracurricular activities that cultivated the free spirit she is.

I often questioned God as to how this could have happened, and often times I blamed myself. Soon after Kyndra’s confession, our daily conversations became very hard for me; she was my daughter and also my prayer partner. I did not know what to say, how to think, or how to feel.

The only thing I knew to do was to seek God’s face because this was the child he blessed me with. I needed him to lead, guide, and direct me as he always has. The devil tried to destroy our relationship, but against my faith, the bond we share and God’s favor, the devil never stood a chance.

As I went through a period of acceptance, God dealt with me mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

The problem was, I had my mind set on what an ideal “Christian” was. Lesbian fit nowhere in that ideology. I was raised in a time where you could not be both a Christian and gay. It was one or the other and no in between.

For those of you who may wonder, how I got over this mountain, I would like to answer by saying: Love conquers ALL. Now I understand that a change in preference does not define who a person is or what they believe in. It also does not stop God from choosing them to hold his word in their hearts and deliver it to his people.

For God reveals himself to us daily in many shapes and forms and he makes his children just as versatile. Kyndra was created by God and birthed by me, who am I to judge what he predestined to be? My love for my daughter is stronger, our prayers are powerfully moving, and our relationship is indestructible.

I support her in everything that she does and I love her with absolutely everything I am.

She is my angel…and I am proud of the beautiful, intelligent, ambitious woman she has grown to be.

Originally published in May 2013